A liberal translation of Catullus 40
Little man, what madness drives you headfirst into my lampoons? Which self-help video has made you press censure upon my voice in an untimely squabble? Is it so you can win hearts and minds? What do you want? Do you seek fame at vanity’s price? Or is some other paranoia at play?
You will get your bargain, since you insisted on making me wait. But I’m sending the Rottweiler to keep you company, and it bites like a motherfucker.